A Case for Ewoks

If you know me, you know I am a huge fan of cute things - stuffed animals, looking at puppy/kitty/baby otter videos on the internet, Hello Kitty, almost every Disney movie sidekick - I mean, the list is endless as long as it makes my heart go “aww”.  So of course, when it comes to STAR WARS you should know that Ewoks hold a special place in my soul.  Sure, they may be a tad mangy - but with their small stature, large eyes, and teddy bear-like appearance they skyrocket to the top of my favorites list. Now, I have read many blogs about people’s hate for Ewoks and that they are the worst, etc.  In fact, people say that RETURN OF THE JEDI is forever ruined due to their appearance and storyline.  However, I am here to make a case for the Ewoks and prove to you why they actually are worthy of respect.

1. They have super-strength. The Stormtroopers should in all rights have the ability to take down something smaller than half their size. But no, the Ewoks tossed fully grown men around as if it was nothing.  

2. They are resourceful. These Ewoks may not have had access to guns or any other elaborate weapon, but they can successfully kick the Empire’s ass utilizing rocks, logs, and spears.

3. They have incredible intellect. Setting effective and elaborate traps is not an easy task, yet they were highly successful. How can small creatures take down an army of trained and equipped soldiers without such intelligence? Not to mention, one of the Ewoks managed to pilot a speeder bike within seconds of hopping on one.

4. They eat humans. How is it that people seem to gloss over the fact that Ewoks were obviously going to cook and eat Han and Luke? Based on the evidence exhibited by the effective binding-and-carrying technique, you know this was not their first rodeo when it came to eating people.

 


Ewoks are cute, but boy are they fierce and a force to reckon with.  In fact, they might be the most fearsome creatures in the series.  They use their cuteness to lure their enemies. When you look at an Ewok, you would not suspect that they are ferocious murderers.  Leia immediately jumped to the conclusion that they are loveable creatures that need to be taken care of. The Ewoks probably thrive on that element of surprise.  In fact, there are some examples in nature that exist on that same premise.

I would like to think that if I ever met an Ewok they would like me and I would have cute, fearsome warriors defending me should the occasion occur.  Since I will never get the opportunity to actually experience that, I will stick to snuggling my family’s Brussels Griffon and the stuffed Ewok my brother got me for my birthday last year. Overall, I know people will still toss and turn in anger over the addition of the fluffy teddy bears to the STAR WARS saga.  Yet I know the truth - Ewoks are ruthless, murderous, adorable monsters who deserve sweet cuddles. And maybe a straight jacket.  


If you can't tell yet, OWA really loves STAR WARS - so much so that this May the 4th marks our third annual Star Wars Day Fan Film Screening! We take the best (and goofiest) Star Wars fan films out there and give them a night of big screen glory. This year's free event take place at 4th Tap, starting at 6pm. They even brewed some beer just for us (Light or Dark Side, take your pick...) so we'll see you there! 

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