Cthulhu vs. JDate

Time for a new strategy. I didn’t think anyone or anything could hurt the feelings of a Great Old One but, damn, you ladies on BeuatifulPeople.com are harsh. It doesn’t matter anyway because I’m not looking for some skin-deep hotty. Anymore. I’m looking for a traditional, intellectual, and spiritual hotty.

JDate just feels right. If you’re going to worship a deity other than moi, the more ancient your God the better. Plus, I love potato pancakes and matzo. Still can’t stand gefilte fish, though. It’s a texture thing. But I digress.

I think what I need is a nice, wholesome, Jewish girl. Passover begins on Friday. I wonder if I can get a date for Seder dinner by then. Take a look at my JDate profile and see what you think:

Ladies, I hope you’re buying my shtick. I’m no schmo, schlub, or schmuck. I’m fit  from having to schlep around with all these tentacles. I’d love to schmooze a little, then maybe schtupp.

Okay, I’m done.

Schlong.

Now I'm done.

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